Time Out for You!
So the other day Will and I got haircuts. Will went to the cool kids cuts place with a slide, computers, and toys. The kids get to sit on various vehicles and stuff (car, motorcycle, horse, firetruck) and watch videos during the ordeal. If you've never cut a 3yr old's hair, you can appreciate this. Will chose the motorcycle and "Dirty Percy" (no, not porn..) a Thomas the Tank Engine video (played so many times, it was pretty fuzzy).
Later I went to where I get a cut, without Will. I go to this place that had a series of coupons, called Sports Clips or something. It was billed as a Haircut place for GUYS! With a locker room feel. Did I mention the coupons?
Anyway, when discussing the haircuts at dinner, Sophie asked Will what he watched, and of course, later what I watched. It so happened that they have ESPN on at the place, and they were showing the details of Michael Vick's sentencing.
So I mentioned briefly, that I was watching TV about Michael Vick.
"Who is Michael Vick."
"He is a man that has to go into time out (aside to Carly: for 23 months)"
"Why?"
"He was naughty."
"What did he do?"
"He was mean to some doggies."
"Oh. So he is in time out."
"Yes."
Okay, we appeared to have dodged the details. But, now every night since then, they want to hear the story of what I watched, and what Michael Vick did. Sigh. How long will this go on?
The lesson is.... they are listening to every word.
posted by Scholz @ 12/12/2007 07:34:00 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
why not tell them straight up (if simply), and let them ask their own questions as they grow in understanding? why sugar coat things? is that to spare you, or them?
i don't ask this from an "i know better" perspective, just from a place of wondering.
lex
by which i meant sorta the judy blume school of parenting: no censorship, but lots of participation.
lex
Hmmm. We did tell them he was in trouble for being mean to dogs. Are you suggesting we tell them he pitted them in fights to the death, and strung some up by their tails for shooting practice, or bashed their heads in? We do try to spare them (and ourselves) some gruesome details, in part because we want them to think of the world as a relatively safe place to grow and explore.
no: mean to doggies leaves them room to ask how. but "time out" seems a sugar coated representation of prison.
i guess you yourself said "dodged the details," and that was what i was wondering: why dodge?
if you teach them that the world is unrealistically safe, aren't you setting them up for disappointment?
(i stress again, this is coming at this from a place of wondering, i might do just as you do, were i parenting).
lex
The Real vs Safe dilemma is always present. We make them hold our hands when we cross the street too, even though we will not always be there to do that.
Since 'time out' is about as bad as things get for our kids, and it is their primary punishment, so I think they get the basic idea, he was being punished.
I think showing them OZ would be a bit much. As they get older, I think we will expose them to more and more 'reality.' Just like we expose them gradually to more and more independence, and 'danger' in their play.
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