Angels and Devils
Sophie is going through a stage, a lot of screaming "No!", tantrums, and other means of asserting herself. Good for her development, I am sure, bad for her chances of surviving the next few months. Sometimes, it is a trial to get through the day. The screaming and rebellion over the smallest things. The clear sense that she knows what she is doing, and that it is not what she is supposed to be doing, but nonetheless, what she will do, is incredibly frustrating. Stepping back and recognizing this as an ego building moment is not easy.
On the other hand today leaving the playground with the kids I was carrying Will, his little legs are just not up to the task of keeping up with the rest of us on long journeys. At some point, I don't remember the instigation, he decided I needed some hugs and kisses. He grabbed hold of my neck and pulled in tight. Planted a couple of big ones on my face, and hung on for a good long while. Not little pecks or squeezes, but a long strong embrace. Sometimes the kids hug and kiss like they are performing for us. It is sweet and fun, but I don't get the idea that there is much behind it. But today, I could feel the love. I nearly wept. I live for moments like that.